Unfinished novels: Alyson's Six Reasons Why

Make sure you read Macy's post on this because it's really good. I, once again, am blogging on the fly. I've never thrown a book against a wall or in the trash. However, I have boxed them up without ever having finished them. These days, I do that a lot. I read five or six books a week-- usually three or four at a time. Some of them I speed read, skimming over the lovely landscape descriptions, slowing down a bit when something catches my attention and seems worth more time. Some I read in less than an hour-- beginning, midpoint, end. Can I connect the dots? Do I even care? No? Then box it up. Some I just set down and never pick up again, except to toss them in the donated books box.

Why?

I bore easily. Really, really easily. If you bore me, I'm out of there. The rule of thumb for attracting the reader's attention is fifty pages. Hook them by page fifty. Hello? Page fifty? For me, it's about twenty pages in-- if I'm unsure I check the midpoint to see if it's picked up-- unless it's assigned reading, or I have heard from a reliable source that understands my taste to hang tough and it'll be worth it. What bores me? Lots of landscape and setting description without much action or intrigue. Lack of depth. Superficial conflict. Bullshit. Unrealistic, contrived dialogue. Stupid, boring, unrealistic or goody-two-shoes characters.Melodrama. Sap. Mediocrity. Been there, done that-- nothing fresh or new. White guys at sea unless they are pirates and there's a female character. The sea as a symbol of female consciousness doesn't count.

So my number one reason for not finishing a novel is that it bored me early on.

The second reason is that I can't relate to the characters. I can't relate and I just don't care. Their motivations strike me as silly, or stupid, or cliche, or over the top. There is no insight into the human psyche provided. No new friend to make. Nothing compelling or interesting to carry me through.

The third reason is that the novel just works too hard without ever getting anywhere-- and hence, I have to work too hard without ever getting anywhere. I've read dense and difficult novels and loved them because there was a payoff. But some novels are like those runners who pump and pump and pump and still move slower than molasses. Get a fricking bicycle, and shift it into high gear.

Number four-- tons of action for the sake of action -- car chases, sex, natural disasters, whatever. The sagging middle is propped up by faux issues that don't further the plot in a meaningful way or help the main character along his arc. This typically means the conflict wasn't good enough to carry the story so everything but the kitchen sink had to be thrown in there to make the word count.

The fifth reason is that there's no reason to finish. I figured the whole thing out by the end of act one-- or possibly the midpoint. Maybe I'll check the end to make sure I got it right. Yep, right. No need to continue reading. This one happens a lot.

Last, the book goes a different way than I expect it to, and the way it goes is (a) the boring route, (b) the highly superficial route, (c) an illogical route, or (d) the cheesy route. In other words, the way I expected it to go was so much better than the way it actually goes and I'm sure because I've sped read ahead and, wow, the author really screwed up the damn story. That's it, I'm done.

I'll add one for romance -- the romance doesn't appeal to me because it's too claustrophobic (I hate those lovers who become glued to each other or the guys that are near-stalkers), or antagonistic, or based on lust only ( you just can't see real love developing any time in the near future for the couple in question; in fact, you've known several couples like them that didn't make it so who in the hell cares . . .)

Cheers and happy writing--
Alyson