Book Throwing 101

Ever buy a book that excites you just by the cover, the back blurb, and the first page or two you read? Yeah, I thought so. Me, too. That’s why we buy them, right?

Do you ever get into that book and just forget to pick it back up and finish it? Yeah, me too. I hate that. I hate the big promise that doesn’t fulfill. I hate not wanting to finish.

Then, of course, there are those times when the book is so contrived that you actually think throwing it is a good thing. I don’t think I’ve ever really thrown a book at a wall, but have put some in the trash can. Yes, really, I have. They were books so bad that I, first, didn’t want anyone to know I’d tried to read it. And, second, I certainly didn’t want to torture anyone else. Loan it to a friend? Never!

So, what puts books squarely in the category of throwing? Well, you’ve signed up for the correct lecture series – Book Throwing 101. Let me tell you.

1. To use the words from today’s blog at Romancing the Blog: Sex by the Numbers. Author, Kimber An, says: “The Standard Issue Sex Scene … The hero is always highly skilled (regardless of experience) and selflessly concerned (even if he’s only one step up from a Neanderthal) with pleasing the heroine who is always fantastically pleased. No matter how skillfully written, I’m jarred right out of the story and I toss it over my shoulder.”

Yep, big, whole-hearted agreement. Frankly a sex scene for the sake of a sex scene doesn’t work. I don’t care how sexy you’re trying to make your book. A sex scene is only needed if the characters have no where else to go but the bed (or wall or floor or whatever) – in other words, it has to be part of the advancement of both the hero and heroine’s character arc. It has to increase the conflict. It has to have a point. Otherwise, it’s just soft porn, and I’m not interested.

2. No Real Plot. I think romance authors are often more guilty of this than other writers, well, except some literary fiction – some of which, but not all, leaves me saying, “and the point was?” And, that kind of is the point. Where’s the plot? What’s the problem and how are they solving it? Cause and effect. Stimulus – Response. If I’m going to read about a bunch of nothing except driveling thoughts and beautiful descriptions, I’m not going to get very far. CRASH. Book meet wall.

3. Inaccurate Facts. I love to read sciencey fiction. (Yes, I’m using that word. Again, deal.) However, if you’re going to write about Ebola, bioterrorism, environmental issues, human body physiology, or the like, do your research and get it right. Maybe a lot of people won’t know if you’re not. However, chances are, if someone picks up your book, they’ve selected it because sciencey fiction appeals to them, and they’ll probably know. Example: I was loving, loving, the movie A Few Good Men until the lawyers started explaining how the cadet died. Lactic Acid in the lungs. Argghhh. I walked away. Sorry that just ruined it for me.

4. Stupid Ass Heroine. Actually, horror flicks are more likely to violate this rule than books, but if your heroine is going into the cellar in the middle of the night, where 10 other people died, and she’s not taking a flashlight, and she’s barefoot in a see-through negligee, you’d better have a brilliant reason for doing it. I don’t hang out with stupid people. I’m not wasting my time reading about them.

5. Characters I Don’t Care About. Give me a reason to really love your characters. Make me think they are real people with real problems about whom I have a genuine interest. If the story is character driven, like romances, there aren’t really many other reasons to read the book. I want to meet characters I like and lose myself in their world for awhile. If that’s not happening, well, I won’t bother.

6. If I can Solve the Mystery in the First or Second Chapter. I love romantic mystery/suspense, but if I think I’ve figured it out early on, I’ll flip mid-way to check my progress and then read the last chapter. Done. If I’m not sure or I just don’t know, I’ll keep reading. Simple. Hard. Truth.

Yep, readers are intimidating. And demanding. It’s a lot to live up to. Come on, what makes you throw a book?

Macy