Research?

Some writers go to great lengths to do research for their novels. Take the lovely and talented Roxy Fontaine, for example. She's currently at a convention, exploring the Oregon Trail. Not only did she go on an overnight covered wagon ride, camp in thunder storms in a tent that kept collapsing on her and climb chimney rock, but she also lost her luggage, adding to the overall experience of "roughing it." She's reliving her character's experience!

I mentioned Roxy's trip to the dear husband and sighed. "I really ought to write novels that require more research."

I was thinking novels requiring adventures and travel to exotic places-- Greece, Istanbul, Rome, Venice, Stonehenge, the Outback, Fiji, Africa, a safari, an Alaskan cruise. But, alas, I write contemporary romance set in Chicago, where I happen to live. I have a three and a half year old son, four unruly dogs and a husband with a business that keeps him close to home much of the year (except for the occasional rugby trip to Wales for the weekend, but I digress.)

Tonight, my husband handed me a VHS tape and smiled.

I asked, "What's this?"

"Research. "

After the child went to sleep and the dh headed out to band practice, I popped the tape in the VCR.

"What's on it?" you ask with bated breath. "Something romantic? Erotic? Lovely? Kinky?Adventurous?"

Heck, no. Taped episodes of three new VH1 shows-- Scott Baio is 45 and Single, The Pick Up Artist and Rock of Love.

But still, I gotta love that man. It's not exactly what I was daydreaming about, but I had a heck of a good time tonight. Why? Cuz people are so darned funny, and you can get ideas from these crazy reality shows. Seriously.

You all know who Scott Baio is, right? Chachi from Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi. Charles from Charles in Charge. Playboy extraordinaire. Heck, I admit I thought he was a little cutie way back when. As the promo for the show points out, Scott Baio has lived a life that most red-blooded American males would sell their big screen TVs, cars and souls for, boasting a jaw-dropping roster of bodacious blonde ex-girlfriends including, but not limited to, Heather Locklear, Pam Anderson, Denise Richards, Nicole Eggert and Nicolette Sheridan. Plus, a slew of playboy playmates.

Not bad for a little squirt who feels other guys bust his balls by calling him Chachi, which, by the by, he hates. HATES.

At 45, he finds himself wondering why he's still unable to settle down and commit to a substantial, meaningful relationship. So, he hires a life coach and agrees to be celibate for eight weeks while he does a series of activities including confronting his old flames. First up on the old flame front, a married ex named Susie and Joanie from Happy Days fame. He discovers he is and always has been on the lookout for someone, something more or better.

In the third episode, his life coach tries to determine why he only dates beautiful, blonde, busty women. She wants to see how he does on a date with someone compatible on a basis other than looks alone. So, a matchmaking service sets him up with his "perfect match" for a date and he discovers he has a tendency to nitpick to shreds every woman he encounters, even the perfect woman for him.

Baio's stated ultimate goal? A meaningful, stable, healthy relationship, possibly with his current girlfriend, Renee.

The man has issues, but he's likable. And, boy, does he have some characters for friends. Well, actually I'm thinking of one guy in particular.

Sure, it's edited and contrived, like all reality shows. But it gets my imagination kicking!

On to The Pick Up Artist.

The theme of the show is transformation for eight dating misfits (or "hapless horndogs") who live together and learn how to pick up women from a pick up guru, who calls himself Mystery, as they compete for the title of "Master Pick-Up Artist." Each week one misfit is eliminated.

There are weekly lessons after which Mystery's awkward apprentices put theory into practice, hitting "the field" --bars, clubs and coffee houses -- in an attempt to make a love connection. Via hidden cameras, Mystery is always watching to see who's got potential and who's got to go.

Mystery has two wing men, and apparently, all three of these guys were once dating geeks until they put the "Mystery Method" into practice. These methods have interesting names and tag lines like "3 second rule", "set", "peacocking", "indicator of interest", "indicator of disinterest", "last minute resistance", "routine", "neg hits", "canned material" and so on.

Now, as odd as this may sound, the mystery method makes sense to me. The rhetoric borrows heavily from evolutionary psychology. I find it interesting, and I'm hooked. There's only been one episode so far.

Rock of Love is a dating show, not unlike The Bachelor but the bachelor in this show is Bret Michaels, the blue-eyed lead singer of Poison. (Remember his sex tape with Pammy, the ultimate rock groupie?) Women around the world have thrown themselves at Bret Michaels, but, apparently, the demands of life-on-the-road for the ultimate rocker have taken a toll...on his love life. He's looking for the perfect "Rock Star Girlfriend."

That puts a slightly different twist on the escapades that go on in the house. For example, it appears there's already been one menage a quatre. Yep, really. But the girls on the show are giving me all kinds of ideas for characters and character traits and internal conflicts.

Oops. Gotta go. The dh is back from band and I have to get back to my research. I'm hoping he can demonstrate "peacocking."

Hey! Get your mind of out of the gutter:)

Cheers and happy writing,
Alyson