INTJ

There has been some discussion of personality types on AotP and related blogs lately. Whether it be a personality test from the Oprah mag or the full-out Meyers Briggs, personality tests are enlightening of both our attributes and our flaws.

I’ve known my Meyers Briggs (MB) type for many years. One year, early on in my current bill-paying job, everyone on staff had to take the MB. Then we went on a retreat. In a huge ballroom, the hundreds of employees of my work place scattered out and stood in areas marked with their personality type. The people in charge made it a game. At the end, out of hundreds of employees, I stood at the far end of the room in a small box labeled INTJ. Out of hundreds, there were 4 of us. We had room to lounge. Others were giddily crowded into boxes far too small for that many people. All those extroverts seemed to relish their tight confines. I was happy with my elbow room … until I looked around. Four of us. It hit me now. What did I have in common with these three who studied the room as carefully as I did?

Come to find out, INTJs aren’t all that common. We are about 1% of the population. Women INTJs are even more rare than men. Eegads. (“Freak!” I screamed at myself.)

My husband humorously read the description accompanying my analysis that night. Uh… he made it sound a bit unflattering at times. I rushed out to take it again. Surely, it was wrong. I wasn’t THAT person.

I’ve taken the test several times since then. I’ve tested as an INTJ about two dozen times – very strong on the I and N and T, moderate to low on the J. I’ve tested INTP twice – both times I was in a funky mood.

My life as a writer clearly outlines why I’m an INTJ. Over the past year and a half that I’ve been writing seriously, I’ve tried everyone else’s ways of doing this writing thing. I’m finally settling on mine. I should have listened to my inner writer all along.

What have I learned about how I write that relates to my personality type? More than I can include here. But, I’ll attempt to enlighten you. Of course, I’m such a weak J, that a lot of the P info fits me, too.

First, some INTJ info:

“Logical, critical, decisive innovators of ideas; serious, intent, very independent, concerned with organization; determined, often stubborn.”

Okay – um – I will finish this damn book and a dozen or more others. And frankly, I’m almost ready to say, I want to finish it without any more crits or any input. I want to follow wild ideas and see where they go.

“They thrive on the surge of inspiration that comes with a new idea or interest.”

This explains why the next idea and the next are so much more fun that the current one.

“Highly independent, they often prefer to teach themselves what they believe they need to know, but they also appreciate the contributions of a teacher they regard as competent. They dislike most kinds of group work in school, and they like to find their own way through new material. They set high standards for their work, push themselves hard, and are self-critical when their results do not meet their expectations.”

Yes. This is me. Always has been. I have a huge library of writing books and printouts, etc. I refer to them when I need to. I like to figure things out on my own. My inner critic sits in the classroom of mind in the front row.

“INTJs describe their minds as a continuous flow of ideas. They construct and reconstruct mental models of their ideas, envisioning how things could be made or done. Their kind of mind is quick in seeing associations and meanings, reading between the lines, and grasping general concepts. They put a high value on intellectual quickness.

Many meanings come to them when their conscious mind is focused on something else. Some of their best problem solving comes out of unconscious processing, where ideas have been cooking on the back burner. They are most likely to be effective when they allow time for that process to happen.”

Oh, can I ever see this. I realize that writers are supposed to write everyday, but really, that is just one person’s (or maybe many persons’) way of doing it. When I write every day, I get bogged down, backed up, overwhelmed. I need days off, doing other things, then I can sit down with a vengeance and pound out 10k in a month or less. It’s that conscious mind/unconscious mind thing. I really need the processing time.

“They rely on insight more than careful observation, and on conceptual and language skills more than on their memory of facts.”

Yes. I rely a lot on insight and intuition. I’m not a fact memorizer.

“They believe competence comes through inspiration, insight, and analytical thinking. Sometimes the surge of inspiration that energizes their learning is brought up short by the reality of having to master essentials that aren’t inspiring. Many times they have to push themselves to get interested in learning some ‘essentials’ because their goal of mastery takes priority in that situation.”

Oh, and if this doesn’t explain the pains of finishing my first novel. I was inspired and then I had to figure out all the whys and wherefores. I had to push myself. I still do. It’s the imagination that’s fun, not how to analyze a scene or turning points, etc. Mostly, I hope the instinct and intuition come into play on that stuff.

“They like to see the big picture even if missing some steps or details may hinder them later.”

I tend to see big scenes and overall story lines in my head. I skip the transitions. I know I’ll have to go back, but I like the idea that I can color the trees green later. I know they are there. I see them. I’m not sure what kind they are or if the leaves are green or yellow, but I know where the cottage in the woods is and I know the path that meanders to it. I know the killer is lurking in the woods, and he's set a trap for the hero. I know the storm is coming. I know nightfall spells danger. Leaves, shmeaves. I'll get to that later.

Are you yawning yet? Sorry.

Yes, this has a point.

I’m figuring out my process. It isn’t like everyone else’s. I’m a minority in this world. I shouldn’t feel bad or like I’m doing it wrong when I do it differently. My way is okay, too.

My way: Don’t write everyday, but make writing a habit. Realize that I need some days off for idea fermentation, then the writing will blaze again. I can play with innovative ideas that others don’t get because with enough play, I can make them work. It makes my voice unique. I may not be able to explain to others where I’m going, but the concepts are all in my head even if I can’t spill the facts right now. I will eventually needs crits, but my own inner critic is such a part of me that she’s absorbing everything and applying it to my writing. She reads the books – both good and bad – with me and quickly sees the lessons I need and the associations to my own writing. I may miss a few little things (too many of which I’m aware can become big things), but the overall picture is big and clear and it’s mine.

I will own it and protect it and defend it. I will gather new ideas to it – ideas that work – and replace ideas that no longer serve an effective purpose. But I will not do it the way someone else does just because they are brilliant or it works for them. I’m learning what works for me and that’s what counts.

Macy

PS. Quoted passages from Looking at Type and Learning Styles by Gordon Lawrence, Ph.D

Good enough?

I stayed home from work today. I cleaned up around here for awhile. (It's an ongoing task since workers are still in and out on a daily basis.) I also wrote some. I edited several pages. When I got stuck on exactly what I wanted, I put down the green pen and moved on to the synopsis.

I find writing a synopsis helps when I'm not exactly sure where I want the story to go. Somehow, just writing all the main points makes it clearer. At 1000 words into what really amounts to a rough summary more than a synopsis, I took a break.

I was frustrated. It just never seems that it's quite good enough. I'm this way about alot of things. Fortunately, the more comfortable I become with a job, the more I'm able to determine what's important and what I can let go. In the bill-paying job, I tend to be very non-perfectionist. I'm better than good-enough, and that's all that's expected.

However, with writing for publication, I feel this intense need to be perfect, to have the perfect manuscript. My characters need to be perfectly motivated. The villain needs to be perfectly revealed at the perfect time with the perfect clues dropped along the way. The heroine and the hero need to kiss at the perfect time, and I need to lead up to that moment with the perfect nuances.

But it goes deeper. I need the perfect word. I've been known to read the thesaurus for a half hour, playing with meaning until the perfect word appears. I've been known to repeat a sentence out loud, playing with word order and choice until the perfect cadence is developed.

I won't throw out any more examples of my quirky tendancies lest you run screaming that I need psychiatric help.

You see, though, writing is new enough to me that I haven't figured out those places where imperfection can hide. I know they are there, but I think I have yet to discover them. That means that I currently erase 900 words for every 1000 I write. I have to sit back and let the ideas come in their own sweet time instead of plowing forward. I have to test out all sorts of ideas. I have to rewrite...alot.

I have to find a reasonable way to work throught the frustrations that accompany imperfection because it's all imperfect now. I have to go through this quest for perfection until I know what it looks like in my own writing. Then I can figure out where to back off and how I can give myself a break.

Why do I do this? Why have I always done it? Today, in my frustration with imperfection I decided to do a little self-discovery and find out.

I looked as far as my Meyers Brigg personality type: INTJ.
About 1/2 of 1% of the population. Lucky me. (sarcasm)

Here are some things you should know about the INTJ.

1. No idea is too far-fetched to be entertained. INTJs are natural brainstormers, always open to new concepts and, in fact, aggressively seeking them. (Well, this is both good and bad for a writer. Brainstorming is good, but you have to know when to stop. Hmm.)

2. Likes looking at information from a global viewpoint, spotting patterns and relationships, that lead to an understanding of the key issues. (This is great. I generally "feel" like I can get a global view of the story, but those pesky details....)

3. INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. (Problem: How do I know when it's perfect or at least good enough?)

4. (but, wait, there's more...) What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply, often ruthlessly, the criterion "Does it work?" (Bigger problem: How do I -- the creator of my story -- know if it works? And what works for one person, doesn't always work for another. So, who do I please? The best and most reasonable answer is myself. Yes, but who else? I can please myself in many ways. What one of those is going to please my readers, editors, publishers, etc.?)

So, having at least identified the problem, I now have to come up with solutions. (Even if you keep reading, you won't find those. I haven't discovered them yet.)

It really is okay, though. I'm one of those people who embrace the journey, even the unpleasant parts. It's all about learning, and even the things that go wrong show me what not to do next time.

Today, I read an article in the most recent edition of Writer's Digest. The article was an interview with Janet Fitch, author of White Oleander and most recently, Paint It Black. After reading the interview, I think I'll buy Paint it Black. It's not the type of book I usually read. It's more literary, and unless I'm in the mood for something like that, I tend to read escapism commercial fiction. However, Fitch said some things in her interview that nailed what I was thinking about today.

She said, "If you hold yourself to high standard, there's always the disappointment that the book on the page isn't the book in your mind. It helps you to have a fair scoop of realism. You have to let go of what you want to do and just say, This is what I'm able to do. Some people's aspirations are very high, and whatever they do they're deeply unsatisfied with. That's a terrible trap for artists and writers not to be able to enjoy something that's imperfect, because everything in the physical world is imperfect."

She also said, "In the arts, your weakness becomes your signature. The fact that your work is imperfect makes it interesting."

Yes, to the first quote. Maybe, to the second one. I'm still debating it.

Obviously, perfectionism is an issue for me, much the same as power is for Alyson. (I'm glad we aren't covering my achilles heel this week.) However, in such a competitive industry, it seems that getting it as right as possible is a benefit.

So, I really do want to know: Does the fact that your work is imperfect make it interesting? If so, maybe I should try to perfect imperfection.

That's all the deep, rambling stuff for now.

Macy

PS. Read the full interview conducted by Mary Curran-Hackett in the April edition of Writer's Digest, pages 54-57.