Fear

For some reason, for most of my life, I've been regarded by others as fearless.

I'm not fearless.

Not even close.

As my dear husband can attest, the notion is ridiculous. I know fear very well. Death may follow some, as Jacqueline so aptly described in her blog yesterday, but that's not what follows me. Her blog made me really think about it and what I realized is that the devil and angel sitting on my shoulders are Fear and Love.

Every single day I have to decide to rebefriend fear, give him a hug, console him-- say, Hey it's okay that you're so dreadful and that you want to follow me around. The problem with you, buddy, is that I have a life to lead, and I cannot allow you to stop me. You're the opposite of love, and I believe that love must prevail. It doesn't mean you don't have your place. You can follow me around if you must BUT we're still going to slay this dragon, climb this mountain, jump out of this airplane, speak out against injustice, search for truth, let Dante climb to the top of the monkey bars, share our inner selves, write this book, smile at the scary person, hop on the scale (ha!), be willing to make mistakes, reach out to others, live, love. Life's too short and love's too precious and important to sit in a corner trembling with you.

Most of the time it works. When it doesn't the dear husband provides back-up. Of course, that didn't stop me from staying awake close to three weeks straight when Dante was born. All the stories about SIDS-- but I digress.

My heroes include a wide range of peeps from all walks of life, but one of them is Nelson Mandela. I'm keeping it relatively short and sweet today because I have a lot on my plate (it's about time for the Christmas decorations to go back into storage, no?) and truthfully, Nelson says it and lives it way better than I do. Two of my favorite quotes--

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness,that frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

With great love, great respect and a little bit of fear that's not stopping me . . . too much,
Alyson